Montreal is a city with a pretty good food scene! To eat at least, I would not want to invest in a restaurant here…

So it gives me a case of mild consternation when I see what I can only hope and assume are tourists waiting in huge lines for… gnocchi. Don’t get me wrong: it’s perfectly serviceable $5 gnocchi, and the storefront and little Chinese-take-out style box are cute. But it’s a symptom of people all seemingly ending up checking off the same boxes on their visits and over-concentrating on the same couple of spots, spending valuable eating and walking time in line! But… maybe you’re more ambitious! The Plateau’s gentrified a lot, but its coolness still comes from the deliciousness that waves of immigrants have brought to bear. I eat out a lot in my neighbourhood (more than I should?), so here’s my tweaks¹:

Obviously Fairmount bagels is right there, the preferred Montreal bagel (not like those sellouts up at St. Viateur, or the Round Bread in a trench-coat that is the New York Bagel²). Play to the strengths of the Montreal Bagel: eat a sesame bagel, almost too hot to hold, fresh out of the oven, dipped into some Liberty³ Philadelphia cream cheese, with a chunk of smoked salmon you’ve sliced open with your keys⁴. Eat it on the migratory bench⁵ out front, preferably at 4 in the morning. If you’re there earlier for some reason, grab your bagels, cream cheese and smoked salmon, and go eat in Parc Lahaie. You’ll get a more uniquely Montreal experience and it’s a quick line in Fairmount. It’s cash/debit only!

A newer option very nearby on Fairmount is Perogie Lili. It’s staffed by newly arrived women from Ukraine. Their pierogi are very tasty, you can get 6 for $7.50, and even though it’s a new kid on the block, it honours a long tradition of Mile End being a refuge for immigrants from across the world and the delicious foods they bring to the mix. If you have a few extra dollars add some caramelized onions or bacon and for a splurge… get them pan fried.

Ice Cream – Kem Coba has some good ice cream. I will not wait for 30 minutes in line to get ice cream. Iconoglace just opened, and has some good ice cream. I will not wait for 30 minutes in line to get ice cream. Ripples is… an institution and has some good ice cream with two outlets! But I will not wait for 30 minutes in line to get ice cream. If one is crazy maybe Bixi over to one of the other ones?

Schwartz’s – I can’t totally fault people for waiting in line at Schwartz’s. It’s… still pretty good, even if it’s expensive⁶, and it’s a fun experience to eat in there. You get a sandwich (Medium-fatty), you get a pickle (share it if you can… it’s a-lotta pickle), you get fries that you only eat a handful of (but you order them anyways), and you get a Cott’s Black Cherry.⁷ But do not wait in the line if it’s… more than 3-4 people out front (the line does move…). Peek in the door to get the vibe, take a picture, and then go next door and get it to go. It tastes the same, and you can go eat it in Parc Jeanne Mance. There’s also other good smoked meat places, even if they may have slightly different styles in other neighbourhoods! Lester’s, Snowdon Deli, Smoked Meat Pete are all very solid, but not in the neighbourhood and less likely to be wandered to by tourists.⁸

Bread – we’ve got pretty good bread for not-Europe, and some pretty good options! Don’t wait in line anywhere. Guillaume is good, brioche particularly. Hof Kelsten is good, babka particularly. Toledo is good, almond croissant particularly. But you can also just get a good baguette from any and some cheese or meats from Viens and… go snack in a park!

Sweets – Carlota has really tasty Mexican style pastries, again honouring the history of the neighbourhood being a mixture of waves of immigrants! Getting a Kouign Amann from the namesake is also very worth it, even though they are always closed when I want one.

Sandwiches – I will in fact wait in a reasonable sized line for the Kebab Libre from Kawha (cash/debit only!). If you don’t get fries you can usually get it faster than you expect. Fresh bread makes the sandwich! Dino’s Sandwicherie will give you an absurdly large and messy foccacia sandwich with cold cuts such that you’ll feel some regret afterwards if you eat the whole thing. Chez ta mere annoys me with its aggressive hipness but they doooo have some good sandwiches. Capitaine Sandwich delights but is maybe slightly outside the radius of this guide. Omnivore’s sandwiches also delight, but they take a bit longer to make.

Portuguese Chicken – I’ve always been partial to Portugalia, even though it seems to have gone through many owners and rebirths, it’s still run by exactly the kind of Montreal Portuguese guys it should. Romados still seems too clean these days after that fire in 2014 but I won’t fault anyone for preferring it. If you want something more down home, get a chicken sandwich from Sa the oddly persistent mainstay Portuguese grocery. It’s still Little Portugal!

Poutine – I think you’re best served with Patati Patata or Chez Claudette. Patati Patata is so small it always looks like there’s a line, but… usually you can squeak your order in and get it to go pretty quickly. Both very solid. You can also if you’re more of a crossover eater get a poutine at one of the portuguese chicken places and it’ll put you into a delightful food coma. For maximum effect poutine should be eaten after 3 AM, but there’s a lot fewer of those places around these days. Banquise is fine, Fameux is… kinda terrible these days but also what you need sometimes.

Pizza – Montreal’s not really a pizza by the slice city (if it ever was… although Madonna’s is still down there… somehow?), but you can at least get a pretty good piece of pizza at Star Bar. Just get whatever is the freshest! There’s lots of good pizza up in Little Italy but then you’re under the overpass which is actually a different dimension.

Or… you can get the gnocchi if you only have $5. Sometimes you’re just in the mood for some OK gnocchi.

1. This is… more of a walking tour. Places you can grab and then keep walking! ↩︎
2. I kid, I kid, I would probably not be able to tell the difference between them in a blind tasting. And really it being a fresh Montreal bagel is paramount. New York style round bread bagels are better for sandwiches (like bread), hold up for longer (like bread), and are acceptable to adulterate with “everything” spices or raisins (like bread). Also Fairmount bagels have been in space, and have more sordid (and tragic) lore. Read about it while you’re on the bench! ↩︎
3. Why has no one rebooted a Liberty cream cheese-alike? We don’t need another Batman movie. We need another cream cheese. ↩︎
4. Smoked salmon plastic packages are like Fort Knox for some reason. ↩︎
5. I actually thought someone was stealing the benches but from an in-depth investigation of the street view history it appears the benches are only there in the summer, and the style changes occasionally. I guess to avoid presumably bench-and-life-threatening snow removal equipment. ↩︎
6. Cheaper than Katz – $29 USD (~$40 CAD!) vs $15 CAD for a sandwich. Obviously these are expensive tourist traps but… sometimes you have to let yourself be trapped and eat the bait. Otherwise we’re not getting any lobster. And now I want pastrami. ↩︎
7. This is basically the only time you ever see Cott’s, it may be the RC Cola of Canada, it feels like an off brand Cherry Coke, but… it is the perfect accompaniment to the rest of the meal. And apparently has its own history. So get a black cherry. ↩︎
8. Historically I would have said go across the street to The Main, but it closed in 2023. The Main was the best because it was open 24 hours, had pretty good smoked meat, strangely good liver (pleasing one particular friend), and seemed to have a sequence of larger than life characters for owners. Once I started chatting with the owner when eating outside during a street fair and we really got into the weeds about the history of the place, he was very engaging and at the end very generously gave me his business card and a discount card that where he wrote in 5% off and and an expiry in two days. Still have the card. You probably shouldn’t eat smoked meat that often. ↩︎